The Cheese Police

Dr Crippen loves cheese. The greatest of all cheeses is English Stilton. This is not a matter for argument, or for discussion. There can be no debate. Stilton is the pinnacle of cheesy endeavour.

A great deal of the stress at work relates to the government’s attempts to “persuade” (bribe) Dr Crippen and his colleagues to do such useful things as going out on the streets to accost old ladies, measure their cholesterol and then nag them about the amount of fat in their Christmas chocalate macaroons.

What a valuable use of resources. Better than wasting money on that trendy but expensive Herceptin and far better than putting resources into helping schizophrenics currently in receipt of “community care” (tramps). I could go on.

Dr Crippen hates it, but puts up with it. But there are limits even to his tolerance. He paid a visit to the Devil’s Kitchen today. If you have not been there, you should, but not if you are of a sensitive disposition. This hugely entertaining, articulate, witty Scottish commentator is also one of the most foul-mouthed bloggers around. Gird up your loins and have a look. Essential reading.

Yesterday, he reported on something originally picked up by the Daily Telegraph.

Put simply, the Health Police have decided that there is too much salt in Stilton. It’s not good for you. So they want the receipe changed.

Then they will be after the cattle farmers – too much fat in beef, so let's get the genetic engineers in and make beef fat free. And the alcohol in wine? Sugar in birthday cake? Eating too much at Christmans?

Where will this end?

How do I feel about it? I cannot improve on the Devil’s Kitchen, who says:

“I'm sorry, but at what stage, exactly, did I elect these ghastly shits to control what I eat? Was this in Labour's manifesto? At what point did I elect these **** to tell cheese makers how much salt they can use?

“How did this country, admired for so long for its people's hard won freedoms, come to the sorry state wherein we are today? Do we know the answer? I do.

Such measures could only come from a socialist regime. Socialism requires, by its very nature, the state to control its citizens; such micromanagement in our name, in the name of our health, could come only from an intrinsically socialist government. Socialism: it's the root of all evil.”

Much more of this and I am going to start noticing George Bush’s good points!


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Picture of the finest cheese in the world: Cropwell Bishop Creameries