Sue and Dave and "Hospital at Night"

You may not have heard of Windscale.

It is a nuclear waste rubbish dump. Got some non-biodegradable nuclear waste? Send it to the UK with a large cheque made payable to the British Government and we will dispose of it for you.

Well, actually, we can’t do that, but we will store it for you.

Windscale is in the English Lake District, one of the greatest areas of natural beauty in the world, and an area where Dr Crippen goes regularly to walk and de-stress

Not the intuitively obvious place to store unwanted radiation, but at least it is situated many miles away from London, the home-counties, the Royal Family, politicians and other nimbeys

In 1957 there was a spot of bother at Windscale. Something escaped. Anyway, the government had an enquiry which concluded that there was not a problem, and if there was a problem, it was only going to affect a handful of in-bred farmers, and a couple of sheep. So that is all right, then. Best not drink the milk for a while though.

To avoid further distress, the government rebranded Windscale. They painted it green (literally and metaphorically), opened a visitor centre, and renamed it. Brilliant. It has become a tourist attraction. (sic)

That is why you have not heard of Windscale. It’s called Sellafield now.

Which brings me on to “Hospital at Night”

When Dr Crippen was a hospital doctor, some of the jobs he did were called One-in-Twos. You did a full working day from 8.00 a.m. until 6.00 p.m. and then you worked every other night from 6.00 p.m. until 8.00 a.m. the next morning, and also every other weekend from Friday at 6.00 pm until Monday at 6.00 p.m. That came to about a hundred and twenty hours a week.

The hours were ridiculous, and the pay derisory but you learned some medicine. The government has stopped this because EU regulations forced it to. Junior hospital doctors are nowadays not allowed to work more than forty-eight hours a week, after which they must be tucked up in bed with a cup of cocoa.

The economics here are straightforward. If you reduce doctors’ hours by approximately two-thirds, you need three times as many doctors to do the same work. We did not need Wat Tyler for that!

The government has not increased the number of doctors.

So at nights and weekends, and particularly over long bank holidays like Christmas, the hospitals are denuded of medically trained staff.

There is a crisis. Do not get ill at Christmas or over Bank Holidays. The doctors have gone home.

How did the government cope with this crisis?

First of all, it hushed it up.

Secondly, it rebranded it, so that if any one does hear about it, it is not a crisis, it is an opportunity. An opportunity for team building.

And it has rebranded it with a comforting, plausible, attractive name.

It is not called, “Oh Christ, I’m bleeding and there are no doctors in the hospital”. It is called “Hospital at Night.”

Don’t be cynical. Say it over a couple of times.

Hum it.

“Hospital at Night”. “Hospital…at…Night”

Admit it. It’s growing on you all ready. It sounds…good. It does not mean anything. It does not promise anything. It just sounds...great!

“Hospital at Night. Hmmm, I like that.”

“New Labour. Hmmm, I like that too.”

Read the protocol from Sue and Dave. Just look what they are up to. Not only are they working on "Hospital at Night", but they are “team building” as well. They are "...ensuring “everyone’s got a picture of the night” at Arrowe Park Hospital"

Hmm, teambuilding. I like that. "Getting a picture of the night." I like that even more. It all sounds...great!

On behalf of NHS BLOG DOCTOR, Dr Crippen hopes you all have healthy Bank Holidays.

++++++++++

This article was orginally published in December a few days after NHS BLOG DOCTOR started. It has particular relevance now, as we are once again discussing dumbing down. Dr Crippen has been thinking of it again as he has just had a holiday in the Lake District. Finally, we are approaching the May Bank Holidays during which, as always now, hospitals will be running on what I will provocatively call a skeleton staff.